When You Are Done Hiding Behind Your Smile
- And You Want More.
You get home after a long day of work, grocery shopping, running errands—all with a smile.
You're exhausted. All you want to do is relax and do nothing.
In reality, you need to put all the groceries away, cook dinner, get school supplies and lunches ready for tomorrow, and get the kids to bed. Then you can relax.....or will you find yourself catching up on household chores?
If you love what you do, this may not be so bad!
In my past, I was always too busy. I hated my job, but I wouldn't admit it. I was miserable and frustrated, but would put on a smiling mask all day.
I would come home so exhausted from wearing the mask that I would blow like a volcano! Ok. Not everyday. But when I was really tired—which was a lot, and forcing myself to do things I didn't want to do—which was a lot—I would lose it. Ok, so it was a lot.
At that time in my life, I was not enjoying myself! I was a super nice, smiling, kind and caring individual when I was outside the comforts of my own home. However, as soon as that front door closed, I let loose.
It is exhausting being fake! It is exhausting pretending to be happy!
Why do we do it? So many people do it!
For me, there were a few reasons. I feared being judged by others. I did too much so I could avoid the guilt of saying no. Heaven forbid, I couldn't for the life of me say "no". I was worried I would hurt someone's feelings. I was a people pleaser. I placed high expectations upon myself to "Do all and be all".
Here is the thing: You Do Not Have To Do It All!
What?!? For real, you don’t!
Taking care of the house, the kids, the running around, the groceries, the finances, the laundry, the....the....the....
Free up some time. Ask for help, delegate, and be easy on yourself when things don't get done.
~Ask for help. Most people aren’t mind readers. Be specific. Make a list of things you need help with and then ask.
~Delegate chores. This is one of my most favourite suggestions. Kids can help (my kids started around 1 1/2 years old). They can do their part to help the household run efficiently. It’s a team effort—there is no “I” in team.
Yes, it may take some time to teach them. It won’t be perfect or up to your standards right away, but with a little extra work at the beginning it will get there.
Here are some ideas for age-appropriate chores for kids, depending on your child’s individual abilities. (From ‘The Busy Mom’s Greatest Companion- Your Guide to Going from Overwhelmed to Overjoyed”)
Pick up/put away toys.
Unload the dishwasher (silverware, plastic cups, Tupperware).
Collect dirty clothes.
Put clothes in the dirty clothes hamper
Load the dishwasher.
Set the table.
Clear the table.
Feed the pets.
Help with meal prep (wash produce, find ingredients, simple cutting).
Clean bathroom sinks, counters, toilets.
Put laundry away.
Take out garbage/recycling.
Make simple meals.
This may help- these made the world of a difference for us!
Allow your kids to help you; it doesn't do anyone any favors to do it all. This is a challenge for you to let go of your way of doing things. The chores may not be done perfectly or how you would do them, but it helps and is less for you to do. And the children are left feeling accomplished and proud. This also teaches them necessary life skills.
In my family, my kids know we are a team; we work together to do the chores. They are not one person’s job; they are all of our responsibility. Plus, the more they contribute, the more they honor and respect the house and its cleanliness.
Do your best. Do what you can. Take time for you. Rest. Be Present.
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